Finding Love In Other Drunks.

It all begins and ends with alcohol.
When liquor is coursing through your veins you find the biggest urges to dry hump anything really. But not for my friend Natalie. Dressed to impress going out to get drunk, not knowing she'd be meeting someone, exactly to her liking. Daniel.
Daniel is an army boy, and with that title he had a gorgeous body that is enough to tempt any woman to her knees. Which and I quote after a few dates together Natalie exclaimed "I don't want to be courted, I just want to f%ck him!" An articulate woman. A journalist and strong willed lady, never has anyone heard her speak with such vulgarity.

But after recent events despite Natalie's drunken rampage in the car after meeting him stating that he's 'the one' and that she can 'feel in deep inside of her'. It has now come to her attention that he might be gay. Who in their right mind would turn down a night with the rowdy Natalie? Her thoughts that he didn't like her strong opinions and views on certain things, has lead her to believe that she's conforming into a feminist. Why is it that guys feel the need to be intimidated with strong women?

People drink to gain confidence, Nat has it regardless. But every woman has insecurities and if a man doesn't want a bar of a particular woman, or type, is it cruel to assume he's gay? Probably not.

Photo Taken by DJ.Cartilla

Car Acrobatics.

One hand on his shoulder, the other bracing the side of the car. You've got your head above the steering wheel while you're straddling your partner. The windows fog up, all you can hear is the sound of breaths quickening, feeling sweat gliding down your body, and you're about to climax...


That's what sex sounds like in the movies. But in reality it's a little bit more complicated and painful then that.
Introducing Kristy (on the left). After a 'drive' with a 'friend' the night before, bruises protruded from certain areas, where she knew biting or sucking were NOT involved. Which proves that sex in cars are more trouble than you bargain for. Yet again if the house is out of service or it's something along the lines of a secret, sometimes we all have to compensate and deal with it later.


Through years of practice, Kristy believes that she has somewhat perfected the art of positioning. And by positioning, I don't mean so she doesn't get bruises but more for the fact that she gets the most out of it, you know the big 'O'.
A lot of women are self-conscious about their bodies, and to be on top while bits are bouncing all over the place? Well, lets be honest, gravity tends not to be our friends once the bras come off and gravity takes hold, or drop. While we're bouncing about, we have more things to be concerned with then where to put our leg without squishing it against a seat belt buckle, or that we're more than likely about to smash our head on the car roof.

Car acrobatics are fun for a quick fix, but if you're not into pain, I suggest you keep it in your pants! Just kidding. Just find alternatives. Remember, cars have bonnets too!

Part-Time Lesbians

People hook up all the time. Especially in clubs. The liquor is flowing, the music blazing. The kind of mood bringer. You're out with your friends enjoying a good laugh making fun of the idiot that almost face-planted themselves going down the stairs, you know, the usual. Now when I say 'part-time lesbians', people may think bi-sexual? But no, it's not what this is about. There is nothing wrong with being sexual, it's part of human nature. There's nothing wrong with hooking up with a stranger in the club, given the lights and alcohol haven't blinded your voice of reason. Or vision.

 There are a specific group of females who find the need to make out publicly to draw attention to themselves. They are the girls that are usually surrounded by the drooling, trouser-bulging douchebags. I admit, we all tend to watch. It's like a train wreck, you wanna look away, but you can't. Now there's a difference when  you hook up with your friends in the comfort of someones home or behind closed doors than in public. These same girls make it hard for those of us trying to play the 'girlfriend' card when saving a friend on the dance floor.

My friends and I are part-time lesbians too. But for reasons to be rid of the creeps that are hip thrusting you from behind, whispering profane things in your ear and straight out ugly. One of us goes up to the unfortunate friend getting their space invaded, abuses 'happy pants' and claims them as their girlfriend. However this can backfire and the douchebag that was invading just one persons space, now thinks it's a good idea to ask for a threesome. It's not. And it's definitely not a cue for you to ask for both of us to go home with you, when clearly, one of us as it is don't want you in the first place.
Being a part-time lesbian has it's perks but sometimes friends like to cock block other friends, for the hell of it, by using the girlfriend card, and there's no happy vagina's or endings anywhere.