The big "O"- no!

Written by Anonymous.

How important is the big “O” you may ask? Simple. When it comes to sex, women often talk and want to reach that ‘climax’. One is a courtesy and any more is ideal. Everyone knows that climax, where you’re left with your body tingling and your eyes are rolled back and there’s that helpless smile creeping up on your face—and you’re secretly thinking to yourself—yep, I’m in my happy place, thanks. I call it and know it to be the big “O”—same with most women.

But my question is, is it wrong to not want to be with someone because they can’t make you reach that state of euphoria you crave?

With all the help out there today, there are toys being available for women, and the fact that sex is so openly discussed, men should get the gist on knowing how to please a woman—but no! But this isn’t the case.

 Prime example, a potential lover (let’s call him….Fred) and I were experimenting with each other. And yes, we all know how it starts off with a kiss—he starts to kiss your neck and make his way down your body, caressing and teasing you then before you know it, you’re both undressed and it’s a race to the finish line! After your first climax, you start thinking to yourself; this is going to be some good sex. Naturally you start to work on him, only to discover that his equipment is small.

Now I’m not one to judge or care about sizes, after all it’s how they use it, right? But how do you deal when you begin to have sex and before anything too good happens he blows! (seriously, 30 seconds). Normally I would’ve considered this selfish, gotten dressed and left but I knew he felt embarrassed, so I let him pleasure me in a different way—which didn’t do too much to be honest.

My golden rule to becoming intimate with a guy is; if the sex isn’t compatible then we can’t be involved, friends with benefits included. Because there would only be one person benefiting and it wouldn’t be me.

I’m trying to be reasonable here. I’m not expecting mind blowing sex for the first time round, but like I said this is actually a problem and problems like these lead me looking elsewhere.
Relationships aren’t all about sex, but how can you built a relationship when you don’t have the right ingredients to start off with?

So I’m sorry to say…Fred, aim might be able to help you, but I can’t—so I’ll leave the rest up to Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.

Finding Love in a Gay Club.

So last night I was accused as well as asked if I was a lesbian. My answer kept changing, depending on who asked or whether I liked their shirt or not. My inner-gay-lesbian was on the prowl and I definitely spanked a few too many gays last night, we were celebrating the gays marriage approval. I maybe even gave some lesbians the impression that I was batting for their softball team. By the time we left our first stopover for the night, we all decided to go to the Imperial Hotel, (another gay club). The bouncer at the door looked at the whole group of us waiting to be allowed in. To be honest, I'm surprised most of us  got in. We were loud, stumbling and reeked of a brewery but they didn't care so, off we went!

This is where the crazy started to happen. After doing a 'wet pussy' shot with Matt and Joel (Matthew's special friend) they disappeared and I wanted another beverage. Waiting in line I felt arms wrap around me and someone sniffing my hair. I turn around and smiled, thinking it was Matt-- it wasn't. Some random gay decided that my hair smelt amazing and kept sniffing my hair as if it were made of cocaine. Laughing it off I eased away making my way to the stairs. I hated stairs on a sober day, drunk was even worse. I got up there and was complimented on my outfit. I smiled and curtseyed (as you do). One guy however asked if he could try on my outfit, and try on my bra. I laughed it off too. But the whole night I found him following me around asking me to swap.

Then comes when I needed to pee. The female toilets were nowhere to be found. I asked a lovely couple making out on the couch to show where it was 'safe' to pee. They laughed kindly and pointed me to the men's toilet. With a sigh I was in there, doing my business. I contemplated peeing in the urinal, but thought I may have fallen, instead I was balancing and aiming!
I've never felt more like a bloke than last night, nor made so many friends, or gotten harassed for my clothes. It was a night to remember and laugh about and all in the name of L.O.V.E.

My beer tower, thanks to; The Courthouse Pub

How DRUNK is "beer goggles"?

We've all been guilty with the drunken hook ups. But we've also been guilty of the drunken hook ups that look like they've been not only smacked by the ugly stick, but thrown at the ugly wall. Even now as you read this, you're suppressing one of the if not many drunken kisses in a corner of a seedy club. When the strobe lights are turned off, music is shut down and the alcohol flow is cut off, you open you're eyes-- and really open them and finally see who you've just played tongue wrestling with for the past hour and a half.

Disappointment painted all over your face, you turn to your friends for support and their pissing themselves laughing and making kissing-suction sounds. You shudder as you turn back to your so-called-conquest for the night, give a polite smile and when they aren't looking run in the opposite direction. "Beer goggles" strike again!

Which comes the mystery of, how drunk is beer goggles, vodka goggles, contreu redbull goggles and so forth? There is obviously a line that you cross that makes you believe that the person that you're hooking up with is human. But where does that definitive line come from? Do these "goggles" actually handicap your vision, or is that one drink that pushes you from drunk, to a person with no standards?
Usually with a blog entry, a friend or an acquaintance of mine would star in it but really, everyone at some point in their lives has had these goggles impair their inhibitions and has spiraled them into the joke of the group till the next idiot got too drunk and made the same mistake.

These metaphoric goggles have baffled man-kind since alcoholism itself. And remember, if you're hooking up with someone that you think is way out of your league? Chances is they probably are, and you're their drunken mistake.
CHEERS, bitches!!

Cock-Tales

The age old question is one every man wants to know the answer to and what every woman will keep to herself...or lie about. Does size really matter? A lot of men have come to the conclusion that they may not be hung like a donkey, or the men from the movie "Baseketball"-- and there's nothing wrong with that. Really. A lot of girls say, if not all, that they wish that so and so was bigger, but at the end of the day, if you don't know how to use the hammer, there's no use in screwing, right?
 
A friend (Riss) dated a guy back in high school and has claimed that he is the most well-endowed guy she's ever been with but was completely useless when it came down to business. So that proves that size doesn't matter. But here's another area of concern. If you're small, and you know or feel like you're not any good in the sack, you need a plan B. And I'm not just talking about the morning after pill.
 
A man's best comrade may be his penis but poking him in and out of a woman while trying to keep that stupid grin off of your face, is not a females version of fun. Selfish lovers tend to get their fix but then forget about the second party. And if that's the case don't be surprised if your gf/newly made ex- gf or f%ck buddy buys you a flesh light instead.
If men are so insecure with their equipment, train yourself with other abilities. You can't be shit at all of it and if you are, buy a blow up doll and practice, practice, practice.
 
 

How long is too long?

When it comes to sex, everyone wants quality AND quantity. However most of us do not get both, sometimes too long can lead to aches and pains the next day, walking like you've got a permanent bowling ball up your rectum...you know, the usual. Not often do we hear people say that they had an amazing, mind-blowing, outer body experience that went on for two-hours. To be quite honest, I think most of us might die, so would it be safe to say, the universe's way of looking after us is by either having a shit to decent romp for 10-20mins (sometimes less, I'm not judging) or a tedious and repetitive sexathon for hours on end.

A friend of mine, Brendan and partner were having a long romping session and despite Brendan saying how great it was, the result afterwards is not something that he expected. He exclaimed how when penetration was in motion (literally) he couldn't feel any pain till half an hour after a 2.5 hour sexathon did he notice his balls swell up to the size of an infants head...well, not really, more like a tennis ball. Heading to his lesbian doctors room his comfort level was beyond embarrassed--he really didn't want to show her his testicles.

"You've got blue balls." She says as Brendan exhaled a sigh of relief. Though the special cream that he was prescribed was nothing of relief at all. His balls felt like they were on fire! "...a burn cream...like deepheat." I don't even have balls but I assure you that , that doesn't sound pleasant and I'd rather have sex with a remote controlled car then have anything like that near my genitals, thanks. But Brendan endured his injury and cream-- he was back to normal soon enough, and all his girlfriend could do was laugh, bless her.
So I ask you this question again. Would you prefer great sex for less time, or something that goes for two and a half hours and ends up making your balls or genitals feel like they're being severed with a spoon. I know what I'd choose.

Self-Service.

All over the world there are droughts. No, not from lack of rain but droughts nonetheless. We as the human race need the touch from another one of our kind. Sometimes the pressure build up is enough to make you want to penetrate anything that had a pulse, this can sometimes be frowned upon by society. Which is why God gifted us with certain tools. There are many devices and things we can use to help sate the drought, provide a little "moisture", so to speak and give us a somewhat fix.

• Dildos.
• Blow up dolls.
• Vibrators.
• Flesh lights.
• Anal beads.

Adult stores  make a fortune from the behalf of those of us suffering from the misfortune of not get any. It also seems that while your silicone-vibrator is peeling, or your flesh light starts having chunks falling off, we forget about the best tool. Our hands. Sex is not just about pleasure, well, it is but there is more to it than that. We crave the touch of another person, and though the toys do a good job, most of the time when they aren't falling apart, nothing beats the sensation you get from skin on skin.

There's nothing wrong with self servicing, sometimes you just have to make do but we should learn about our bodies more, instead of shoving any colourful toy in our crevices. You can also save money too. Bring back free-love, I say.

Finding Love In Other Drunks.

It all begins and ends with alcohol.
When liquor is coursing through your veins you find the biggest urges to dry hump anything really. But not for my friend Natalie. Dressed to impress going out to get drunk, not knowing she'd be meeting someone, exactly to her liking. Daniel.
Daniel is an army boy, and with that title he had a gorgeous body that is enough to tempt any woman to her knees. Which and I quote after a few dates together Natalie exclaimed "I don't want to be courted, I just want to f%ck him!" An articulate woman. A journalist and strong willed lady, never has anyone heard her speak with such vulgarity.

But after recent events despite Natalie's drunken rampage in the car after meeting him stating that he's 'the one' and that she can 'feel in deep inside of her'. It has now come to her attention that he might be gay. Who in their right mind would turn down a night with the rowdy Natalie? Her thoughts that he didn't like her strong opinions and views on certain things, has lead her to believe that she's conforming into a feminist. Why is it that guys feel the need to be intimidated with strong women?

People drink to gain confidence, Nat has it regardless. But every woman has insecurities and if a man doesn't want a bar of a particular woman, or type, is it cruel to assume he's gay? Probably not.

Photo Taken by DJ.Cartilla